Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the
menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12
Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets.

"We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the
teenager at the counter.

"You don't?" I replied.

"We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply.

"So I can't order a half-dozen nuggets, but I can
order six?"

"That's right."

So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

*******************************************************

The paragraph above doesn't amaze me because of what
happened a couple of months ago. I was checking out
at the local Foodland with just a few items and the
lady behind me put her things on the belt close to
mine. I picked up one of those "Dividers" that they
keep by the cash register and placed it between our
things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl
had scanned all of my items, she picked up the
"Divider" looking it all over for the bar code so
she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said
to me "Do you know how much this is?" and I said to
her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy
that today." She said "OK" and I paid her for the
things and left. She had no clue to what had just
happened.....

*******************************************************

MAKES YOU WONDER HOW THESE PEOPLE CAN SURVIVE!!!

A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into
her floppy drive and quickly. When inquired as to
what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the
Internet and they kept asking for a credit card
number, so she was using the ATM "thingy"....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping
beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked.
She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the
battery to this remote door unlock. Now I can't get
into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a
distant convenient store) would have a battery to
fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm
too?" She handed it and the car keys to me. As I
took the key and manually unlocked the door, I
replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check
about the batteries it's a long walk."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too
swift. One day she was typing and turned to a
secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper.
What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the
secretary told her. With that, the intern took her
last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the
photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

*****************************************************

IDIOTS AT WORK... Sign in a gas station: Coke -- 49
cents. Two for a dollar.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

IDIOTS & COMPUTERS My neighbor works in the
operations department in the central office of a
large bank. Employees in the field call him when
they have problems with their computers. One night
he got a call from a woman in one of the branch
banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming
from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a
fire downtown?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

IDIOTS ARE EASY TO PLEASE I was sitting in my
science class, when the teacher commented that the
next day would be the shortest day of the year. My
lab partner became visibly excited, cheering and
clapping. I explained to her that the amount of
daylight changes, not the actual amount of time.
Needless to say, she was very disappointed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a
suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and
connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The
message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and
police pressed the copy button each time they
thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth.
Believing the "lie detector" was working the suspect
confessed.
--- SBBSecho 3.13-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)

Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the
menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12
Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets.

"We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the
teenager at the counter.

"You don't?" I replied.

"We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply.

"So I can't order a half-dozen nuggets, but I can
order six?"

"That's right."

So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

*******************************************************

The paragraph above doesn't amaze me because of what
happened a couple of months ago. I was checking out
at the local Foodland with just a few items and the
lady behind me put her things on the belt close to
mine. I picked up one of those "Dividers" that they
keep by the cash register and placed it between our
things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl
had scanned all of my items, she picked up the
"Divider" looking it all over for the bar code so
she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said
to me "Do you know how much this is?" and I said to
her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy
that today." She said "OK" and I paid her for the
things and left. She had no clue to what had just
happened.....

*******************************************************

MAKES YOU WONDER HOW THESE PEOPLE CAN SURVIVE!!!

A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into
her floppy drive and quickly. When inquired as to
what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the
Internet and they kept asking for a credit card
number, so she was using the ATM "thingy"....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping
beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked.
She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the
battery to this remote door unlock. Now I can't get
into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a
distant convenient store) would have a battery to
fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm
too?" She handed it and the car keys to me. As I
took the key and manually unlocked the door, I
replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check
about the batteries it's a long walk."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too
swift. One day she was typing and turned to a
secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper.
What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the
secretary told her. With that, the intern took her
last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the
photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

*****************************************************

IDIOTS AT WORK... Sign in a gas station: Coke -- 49
cents. Two for a dollar.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

IDIOTS & COMPUTERS My neighbor works in the
operations department in the central office of a
large bank. Employees in the field call him when
they have problems with their computers. One night
he got a call from a woman in one of the branch
banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming
from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a
fire downtown?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

IDIOTS ARE EASY TO PLEASE I was sitting in my
science class, when the teacher commented that the
next day would be the shortest day of the year. My
lab partner became visibly excited, cheering and
clapping. I explained to her that the amount of
daylight changes, not the actual amount of time.
Needless to say, she was very disappointed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a
suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and
connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The
message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and
police pressed the copy button each time they
thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth.
Believing the "lie detector" was working the suspect
confessed.
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the
menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12
Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets.

"We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the
teenager at the counter.

"You don't?" I replied.

"We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply.

"So I can't order a half-dozen nuggets, but I can
order six?"

"That's right."

So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

[ other tales of everyday inDUHviduals snipped]


Then there was the guy who ordered a "medium coffee" at a McDonalds (we presume)

"We don't have medium, sir," replied the frazzled teen.

"You don't?"

"No, sir we only have Small, Regular, & Large, as per these 3 cups on display for your convenience, sir."

"Oh, nevceremind, just give me that middle-sized one there, please."

Another person ordered a burger with "minimal lettuce"

The tee asked imi to wait a sec, ran into the kitchen, then came out to say, "Sorry, sir, the chef(WHAAAT?) says we only have iceburg. Is that okay?"

"Sure, but not too much of it, please."

They walk among us and they VOTE!

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

"So I can't order a half-dozen nuggets, but I can
order six?"

"That's right."

So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

I forgot the best one:

The following is a *true* story.
-------------------------------------------------------------

On my way home from the second job I've taken for the extra holiday ca$h
I need, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my billfold is
a $50 bill and a $2 bill. That is all of the cash I have on my person.
I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to
worry about people getting pissed at me.

ME: "Hi, I'd like one seven layer burrito please, to go."
IT: "Is that it?"
ME: "Yep."
IT: "That'll be $1.04, eat here?"
ME: "No, it's *to* *go*." [I hate effort duplication.]

At his point I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it
kind of funny and

IT: "Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back."

He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within earshot. The
following conversation occurs between the two of them.

IT: "Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?"
MG: "No. A what?"
IT: "A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me."
MG: "Ask for something else, there's no such thing as a $2 bill."
IT: "Yeah, thought so."

He comes back to me and says

IT: "We don't take these. Do you have anything else?"
ME: "Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?"
IT: "I don't know."
ME: "See here where it says legal tender?"
IT: "Yeah."
ME: "So, shouldn't you take it?"
IT: "Well, hang on a sec."

He goes back to his manager who is watching me like I'm going to
shoplift, and

IT: "He says I have to take it."
MG: "Doesn't he have anything else?"
IT: "Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get
change."

MG: "I'm not opening the safe with him in here."
IT: "What should I do?"
MG: "Tell him to come back later when he has REAL money."
IT: "I can't tell him that, you tell him."
MG: "Just tell him."
IT: "No way, this is weird, I'm going in back."

The manager approaches me and says

MG: "Sorry, we don't take big bills this time of night."
[it was 8pm and this particular Taco Bell is in a well-lit
indoor mall with 100 other stores.]
ME: "Well, here's a two."
MG: "We don't take *those* either."
ME: "Why the hell not?"
MG: "I think you *know* why."
ME: "No really, tell me, why?"
MG: "Please leave before I call mall security."
ME: "Excuse me?"
MG: "Please leave before I call mall security."
ME: "What the hell for?"

MG: "Please, sir."
ME: "Uh, go ahead, call them."
MG: "Would you please just leave?"
ME: "No."
MG: "Fine, have it your way then."
ME: "No, that's Burger King, isn't it?"


At this point he BACKS away from me and calls mall security on the phone
around the corner. I have two people STARING at me from the dining area,
and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect. A few minutes later this
45 year oldish guy comes in and says [at the other end of counter, in a
whisper]

SG: "Yeah, Mike, what's up?"
MG: "This guy is trying to give me some [pause] funny money."
SG: "Really? What?"
MG: "Get this, a *two* dollar bill."
SG: "Why would a guy fake a $2 bill?" [incredulous]
MG: "I don't know? He's kinda weird. Says the only other thing he has is
a fifty."
SG: "So, the fifty's fake?"
MG: "NO, the $2 is."
SG: "Why would he fake a $2 bill?"
MG: "I don't know. Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?"
SG: "Yeah..."

Security guard walks over to me and says

SG: "Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're trying to use."
ME: "Uh, no."
SG: "Lemme see 'em."
ME: "Why?"
SG: "Do you want me to get the cops in here?"

At this point I was ready to say, "SURE, PLEASE," but I wanted to eat, so
I said

ME: "I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this $2 bill."

I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I was taking a
swing at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands,
and says

SG: "Mike, what's wrong with this bill?"
MG: "It's fake."
SG: "It doesn't look fake to me."
MG: "But it's a **$2** bill."
SG: "Yeah?"
MG: "Well, there's no such thing, is there?"

The security guard and I both looked at him like he was an idiot, and it
dawned on the guy that he had no clue.

My burrito was free and he threw in a small drink and those cinnamon
things, too. Makes me want to get a whole stack of $2 bills just to see
what happens when I try to buy stuff. If I got the right group of
people, I could probably end up in jail. At least you get free food.

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

Another person ordered a burger with "minimal lettuce"

The tee asked imi to wait a sec, ran into the kitchen, then came out to say, "Sorry, sir, the chef(WHAAAT?) says we only have iceburg. Is that okay?"

"Sure, but not too much of it, please."

Lettuce pray that they leaf us alone.

They walk among us and they VOTE!

It's a sad world we live in.

Daryl

... "Schizophrenia beats dining alone." -Unknown
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

They walk among us and they VOTE!

It's a sad world we live in.

Nah; every negative highlights the greater positives we will see one day,
when things are repaired! :)

... "Schizophrenia beats dining alone." -Unknown

hmmm, medical, eh?

How about 13 on organs:

1. I went to the library to get a medical book on abdominal pain. Somebody
had ripped the appendix out.

2. Two blood vessels fell in love but alas, it was all in vein.

3. An organ's favourite boat is a blood vessel.

4. Why do your heart, liver and lungs all fit in your body? Because they are well organized

5. For years I was against organ transplants. Then I had a change of heart .

6. The angry brain lost its nerve!

7. Statistically, nine out of ten injections are in vein.

8. What did the vein say to the pessimistic blood clot? Be positive.

9. When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble!

10. You can hear the blood in your veins if you listen varicosely.

11. We be-lung together!

12. When neurons commit a crime, they are put in a nerve cell.

13. A kidney's favorite instrument is the organ.

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

Nah; every negative highlights the greater positives we will see one
day, when things are repaired! :)

I sang in choirs for several years...in high school, college, and church. Three works from composer Randall Thompson I've done, and I love them. They are:

1) Alleluia
2) The Seven Last Words Of David
3) The Peaceable Kingdom

I believe #2 is done with piano accompaniment, but #1 and #3 are done
a cappella (no accompaniment). The most dreaded words on a choral work are
in the piano accompaniment part..."For Rehearsal Only". <G>

With #3, it has passages from the books of Isaiah and Revelation...and indeed, the Millennial Kingdom of 1000 years (after Christ returns to
Earth at Armageddon, destroying them with just the Word from His Mouth),
will be "life as it was meant to be". The lion will lie down with the
lamb, and infants will put their hands in nests of cobras...yet no one
will be harmed, and "The knowledge of The Lord will fill the Earth". With
all the destruction that will take place in the 7 years prior to it, I
like what Hal Lindsey noted at The Second Coming..."Jesus Christ is going
to recycle The Late Great Planet Earth". That book started the current interest in Bible Prophecy.

I was watching the video messages when he went through the book of Revelation, and when he noted the bowl judgments of Revelation 16 (if
the judgments had been any more severe, the planet, and all life on it,
would cease to exist), he mentioned the second and third bowl judgments,
where "all the oceans are turned to blood, all the life in the sea dies,
all the ships are destroyed, and all the water is turned to blood for the murder of Christ's followers over the millenia". But, when he noted where
all the ocean life dies, he quipped "no more sushi", and started laughing
(and everyone else did as well). I think of what former football quarterback Terry Bradshaw (I think it was him) said..."Sushi?? In America, we have a
word for that...bait". <G>

How about 13 on organs:

I'll tell you one first before I look at your responses. I may have told
you this before, but it's still funny.

This preacher went to visit the home of an elderly lady, who was a long
time organist at the church. As she went to get them some refreshments, he noticed a bowl of water on the organ, with a condom in it. The preacher was obviously embarrassed, and he finally got up the courage to ask her what
this meant.

The woman replied "I was taking a walk recently, and I found this package
on the ground. It said "put on organ, keep wet, helps prevent disease. Preacher, I haven't been sick in ages!!".

The preacher fainted dead away. <BG>

1. I went to the library to get a medical book on abdominal pain.
Somebody had ripped the appendix out.

That took care of editing in a hurry.

2. Two blood vessels fell in love but alas, it was all in vein.

Were their names Art and Tery?? (Artery) <G>

3. An organ's favourite boat is a blood vessel.

If you put the red and blue color together, they'll get marooned.

4. Why do your heart, liver and lungs all fit in your body? Because
they are well organized

I think of two young ladies on America's Got Talent back in 2017.
Darci Lynn Farmer from Oklahoma, and Angelica Hale from Georgia. Darci
won it all with her being "a singing ventriloquist", and Angelica was
the runner up, with her singing. Both of those young ladies are cute as
a bug's ear (I've never seen one up close <G>), and they're great friends.
When Darci won it all, it was noble of her to invite Angelica and her
family to join them for the shows in Las Vegas. But, in both cases, as
one of the judges wondered, "how do those vocal pipes fit in those tiny bodies??".

5. For years I was against organ transplants. Then I had a change of
heart .

It was literally a matter of life and death.

6. The angry brain lost its nerve!

Never mind angry birds.

7. Statistically, nine out of ten injections are in vein.

My veins are like the weather vanes...constantly moving when they see
a storm of needles coming. The thing is, you're practically crucified if
being taken to the hospital in an ambulance, as they seem to pick the
road with the most potholes. Christian comedian Mark Lowery noted "the ambulances must not have shock absorbers...as if you run over a coin,
you can tell whether it's heads or tails!!". So, it's a major effort to
find a vein for an intraveneous feed.

8. What did the vein say to the pessimistic blood clot? Be positive.

Hemophilia is a very serious condition. They've asked me if I'm on
blood thinners, or if I'm dehydrated. I drink a half gallon of diet
green tea citrus a day, so my kidneys and bladder are in overdrive.
But, I haven't had a kidney stone since I quit drinking carbonated
beverages, soda, etc.

9. When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble!

Unfortunately, those urinary tract infections increase as you get
older. And the bladder spasms are definitely no fun, especially if
you have to wear a catheter (been there, done that).

10. You can hear the blood in your veins if you listen varicosely.

It makes you well red.

11. We be-lung together!

Never mind wanting to do heavy breathing.

12. When neurons commit a crime, they are put in a nerve cell.

If a sunken ship at the bottom of the sea begins shaking because of
an underwater earthquake, it's "a nervous wreck".

13. A kidney's favorite instrument is the organ.

Sounds like when the scientist at the urology lab made a new medical discovery, he yelled "Eurethra!!".

Daryl

... How long do we have to practice sex before it's safe??
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

1) Alleluia
2) The Seven Last Words Of David
3) The Peaceable Kingdom

I believe #2 is done with piano accompaniment, but #1 and #3 are done
a cappella (no accompaniment). The most dreaded words on a choral work are in the piano accompaniment part..."For Rehearsal Only". <G>

Why would that be a cause for dread?

I used to sing solo in church (so low nobody could hear me!)

This preacher went to visit the home of an elderly lady, who was a long time organist at the church. As she went to get them some refreshments, he noticed a bowl of water on the organ, with a condom in it. The preacher

was

obviously embarrassed, and he finally got up the courage to ask her what this meant.

The woman replied "I was taking a walk recently, and I found this

package

on the ground. It said "put on organ, keep wet, helps prevent disease. Preacher, I haven't been sick in ages!!".

The preacher fainted dead away. <BG>

Another preacer webnt to see an old lady after services, before lunch.

At her home, he sday in the offered chair & noted a bowl of almonds on the table beside him, being a tad peckish, he asked if he could nibble on them as they talked. She allowed it, & he proceeded with his welfare check visit, listening as she told him of her family & heath troubles.

When it was time to go he noted he'd some hw eaten EVERY almond. Feeling
bad, he apologized for losing control.

She chuckled & said, "No worries, sonny. I'm too old to chew those big nuts
so I just suck the chocolate offa them."

Hemophilia is a very serious condition. They've asked me if I'm on
blood thinners, or if I'm dehydrated. I drink a half gallon of diet
green tea citrus a day, so my kidneys and bladder are in overdrive.
But, I haven't had a kidney stone since I quit drinking carbonated beverages, soda, etc.

I've had kidnery stones yearly since 1990 wqhen I became half paralyzed.

I drink about 1 can of Coke every 6 months, & only when I need to quickly
wake up for work or other activity requiring me to be wider awake than I am.

Biggest was 25ml; worst was about 6 weeks one sumer, I passed 5-10 pea-sized stones a DAY!!! (I learned -- no more EmergenC immunity-boosting mineral
drinks

Sounds like when the scientist at the urology lab made a new medical discovery, he yelled "Eurethra!!".

Kelly Bundy exclaimed once, "Urethra! I have found it!"

Did you know when you are born, you have 4 kidneys?
When you grow up, two of them become adult knees.

My teacher was teaching us about the Urinary System...
Just before he started he said :
"Urine for a treat!"

I replied with:
"You gotta be kidneying me!"

England doesnÆt have a kidney bank
But it does have a Liverpool.

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

Why would that be a cause for dread?

Because they prefer music to cover up their mistakes.

I used to sing solo in church (so low nobody could hear me!)

Tenor Solo. Ten Or Eleven Miles Away, and So Low That No One Hears You.

She chuckled & said, "No worries, sonny. I'm too old to chew those big nuts so I just suck the chocolate offa them."

I'll never eat peanuts again.

Kelly Bundy exclaimed once, "Urethra! I have found it!"

Did you know when you are born, you have 4 kidneys?
When you grow up, two of them become adult knees.

And, the arthritis makes them hurt like stones.

My teacher was teaching us about the Urinary System...
Just before he started he said :
"Urine for a treat!"

I replied with:
"You gotta be kidneying me!"

I'll say.

Daryl

... Free Idiot Test. Insert $5 to begin.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

Hey, Daryl,

I just posted a BBS ad in BBS ADS echo; I couldn't recall your last name, or I'd've flagged you for it! :)

It's called Radio Freqs and Geeks -- maybe you already know of it? Maybe you even run it? I dunno, I'm so far out of the loop these days. . .

I used to sing solo in church (so low nobody could hear me!)

Tenor Solo. Ten Or Eleven Miles Away, and So Low That No One Hears You.

I like that upgrade to the punny quip!

Did you know when you are born, you have 4 kidneys?
When you grow up, two of them become adult knees.

And, the arthritis makes them hurt like stones.

I hope not to inherit my mom's Rheumatoid Arthritis -- it's suppodsed to be
the most painful & is also disfiguring (permanently clutched fists, e.g.)

... Free Idiot Test. Insert $5 to begin.

I heard this as a joke:

The old trucker pulled into a small Nevada town, & popped into the saloon. He went up to the bartender & said he'd hear the rules were slack in Nevada &
he'd like to get screwed.

The bartender said there's only one lady doing this, because it's a small
town, she wishes to be abonymnous, so go to 453 Reno Avenue, & walkup the stairs to the 3rd floor to apt number 317 & slip $100 bill into the mail slot
& knock 3 times, then wait.

He was giddy with excitement & did as the bartender instructed, knocked 3 tjimes & proceeded to wait. . .& wait. . . wait, so he kocled again, more forcefully.

A lady's voice came from within, "WHADDYA WANT?"

He answered, "To get screwed."

She replied, "WHAT? AGAINNN???"

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

I just posted a BBS ad in BBS ADS echo; I couldn't recall your last
name, or I'd've flagged you for it! :)

I missed it somehow. I have the BBS Ads echoes in my packet, but I don't recall seeing it.

It's called Radio Freqs and Geeks -- maybe you already know of it?
Maybe you even run it? I dunno, I'm so far out of the loop these days.
. .

Never heard of it.

I used to sing solo in church (so low nobody could hear me!)

Tenor Solo. Ten Or Eleven Miles Away, and So Low That No One Hears You.

I like that upgrade to the punny quip!

If singing bass, you get to a low note, it sounds like an aborted burp.

I hope not to inherit my mom's Rheumatoid Arthritis -- it's suppodsed
to be the most painful & is also disfiguring (permanently clutched
fists, e.g.)

Arthritis is hereditary, unfortunately.

He answered, "To get screwed."

She replied, "WHAT? AGAINNN???"

Male blondes do exist.

Daryl

... Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

George,

I just posted a BBS ad in BBS ADS echo; I couldn't recall your last name, or I'd've flagged you for it! :)

I missed it somehow. I have the BBS Ads echoes in my packet, but I don't recall seeing it.

It's called Radio Freqs and Geeks -- maybe you already know of it? Maybe you even run it? I dunno, I'm so far out of the loop these

days.

. .

Never heard of it.

Look it up if you care to. . . :) It's on the official Synchronet BBS List.

I used to sing solo in church (so low nobody could hear me!)

Tenor Solo. Ten Or Eleven Miles Away, and So Low That No One Hears

You.

I like that upgrade to the punny quip!

If singing bass, you get to a low note, it sounds like an aborted burp.

There's a vid on YouTube -- loweest voice in the world -- wow! chills!

I'm a low baritone, I think, but mostly out of tune. . .

I hope not to inherit my mom's Rheumatoid Arthritis -- it's suppodsed to be the most painful & is also disfiguring (permanently clutched fists, e.g.)

Arthritis is hereditary, unfortunately.

But it's not 100% guaranteed to pass every time. I'd be first to find out, as I'm the eldest of three (#2 is RIP); hoping the gene skipped both my sis & me

He answered, "To get screwed."

She replied, "WHAT? AGAINNN???"

Male blondes do exist.

Q: Why did the cheerleader have a bruised belly button?
A: Her boyfriend was blonde, too.

I always likerto give fair airplasy to brunetters, as I don't hate anyone for their haircolur (except maybe "suicide blondes"("dyed bny her own hand") as they really believe that bleaching their hair makes them better looking. . .

For the blondes who've heard too many "dumb blonde jokes":

Q: Why do brunettes like their dark hair color?
A: It doesn't show the dirt.

Q: Who makes all the bras for brunettes?
A: Fisher-Price

Q: Why didn't Indians scalp brunettes?
A: They discovered the hair from a buffalo's butt was much more manageable.

Q: Why are most brunettes flatchested?
A: It makes it easier to read their T-shirt.

Q: Why are brunettes so proud of their hair?
A: It matches their mustache.

Q: If blondes get fingers run through their hair, what runs through a brunettes' hair?
A: Lice

& the best for last:
Q: What's black & blue, & brown, & lies in a ditch?
A: A brunette who's told too many 'dumb blonde'jokes.

Q: What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair brown?
A: artificial intelligence.

One more for the brunettes:
Q: What do you call a brunette standing between two blondes?
A: The interpreter.

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

If singing bass, you get to a low note, it sounds like an aborted burp.

There's a vid on YouTube -- loweest voice in the world -- wow! chills!

The late J.D. Sumner, I think who sang with The Stamps Quartet, is in
the Guiness Book Of World Records, with "the lowest bass singing voice".
He'd always glissando (slide) down to the last note on the great gospel
songs.

Arthritis is hereditary, unfortunately.

But it's not 100% guaranteed to pass every time. I'd be first to find
out, as I'm the eldest of three (#2 is RIP); hoping the gene skipped
both my sis & me

Diarrhea is hereditary...it runs in your jeans. :P

Q: Why did the cheerleader have a bruised belly button?
A: Her boyfriend was blonde, too.

Oh, no!! <LOL!>.

I always likerto give fair airplasy to brunetters, as I don't hate
anyone for their haircolur (except maybe "suicide blondes"("dyed bny
her own hand") as they really believe that bleaching their hair makes
them better looking. . .

When I square danced years ago, this good looking redhead female from
Kansas told me "Blondes have more fun, but redheads have more pizazz". <G>
A fellow ham radio operator advised me when I told him I was in the
hospital the last few days (as per another message), to "make a request
for a female redhead nurse". <G>

For the blondes who've heard too many "dumb blonde jokes":

Q: Why do brunettes like their dark hair color?
A: It doesn't show the dirt.

Q: Who makes all the bras for brunettes?
A: Fisher-Price

Q: Why didn't Indians scalp brunettes?
A: They discovered the hair from a buffalo's butt was much more manageable.

Q: Why are most brunettes flatchested?
A: It makes it easier to read their T-shirt.

Q: Why are brunettes so proud of their hair?
A: It matches their mustache.

Q: If blondes get fingers run through their hair, what runs through a brunettes' hair?
A: Lice

& the best for last:
Q: What's black & blue, & brown, & lies in a ditch?
A: A brunette who's told too many 'dumb blonde'jokes.

Q: What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair brown?
A: artificial intelligence.

One more for the brunettes:
Q: What do you call a brunette standing between two blondes?
A: The interpreter.

I've heard some of those before, but some are new.

Daryl

... Newspaper Headline: "Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft."
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

There's a vid on YouTube -- loweest voice in the world -- wow!

chills!

The late J.D. Sumner, I think who sang with The Stamps Quartet, is in
the Guiness Book Of World Records, with "the lowest bass singing voice". He'd always glissando (slide) down to the last note on the great gospel songs.

Probaby who I'm referring to then. . . Amazinmg what the human voice can do. The late Freddy Mercury could cover 4 entire octaves & a couple notes on each side to boot!

Diarrhea is hereditary...it runs in your jeans. :P

Or genes? ;)

Of course chances are that if your parents never had children, you won't either!

Grandchildren(n): God's reward to you for not kiling your own children when they were teens.

Q: Why do grandchildren & grandmothers get along so well?
A: They have a common enemy

When I square danced years ago, this good looking redhead female from Kansas told me "Blondes have more fun, but redheads have more pizazz". <G>
A fellow ham radio operator advised me when I told him I was in the
hospital the last few days (as per another message), to "make a request
for a female redhead nurse". <G>

I've never really considered if those professionals helping me are good
looking or not -- I'm most concerned with capable & competent!

rI only cate about hair colour as much as the lady I'm speaking to does, & I generally like hers & dislike any she dislikes! :D

Hair is just bodily excretions, feces, really!


My brother went to jail. He didn't take it well. Started insulting and attacking everyone and threw his own feces on the walls.
I don't think we'll play Monopoly with him again.

My doctor thanked me for submitting the minimum amount of feces for my stool sample
I told him it was the least I could doo

The substance you wash your hair with isnÆt made from real feces, itÆs fake. You could say itÆs sham poo.

A monkey was arrested today when he started throwing feces at zoo employees Three of the zoo employees were rushed to hospital with turd debris burns

A man had some feces stuck on him.
They had to ampootate it.

Q: What do you get when you eat too much chocolate and peanut butter?
A: ReeseÆs feces

Q: What's brown and rhymes with Snoop
A: Dr. Dre
[not racist -- just playing with observational POV]

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

The late J.D. Sumner, I think who sang with The Stamps Quartet, is in
the Guiness Book Of World Records, with "the lowest bass singing voice". He'd always glissando (slide) down to the last note on the great gospel songs.

Probaby who I'm referring to then. . . Amazinmg what the human voice
can do. The late Freddy Mercury could cover 4 entire octaves & a couple notes on each side to boot!

That's like those pianists whose hands can reach more than an octave.
Sergei Rachmaninoff had HUGE HANDS, but he was a virtuoso. My 2 favorites
of his are the Rhapsody On A Theme From Paganinni, and his Piano Concerto
#2.

Diarrhea is hereditary...it runs in your jeans. :P

Or genes? ;)

Could be both...code brown alert...OMG, that wasn't a fart!! :P

Of course chances are that if your parents never had children, you
won't either!

Never have children, only grandchildren.

Grandchildren(n): God's reward to you for not kiling your own children when they were teens.

And a second chance to get diaper duty right.

Q: Why do grandchildren & grandmothers get along so well?
A: They have a common enemy

I saw a meme where the little boy is sitting on a chair, facing the
corner, and the caption noted "I'm going to take this all the way to
Grandma". <G>

I've never really considered if those professionals helping me are good looking or not -- I'm most concerned with capable & competent!

That's true...but at least the ones I had weren't ugly. Remember...beauty
is skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone. <G>

Hair is just bodily excretions, feces, really!

Makes you wonder about the bearded ladies at the circus. :P

My brother went to jail. He didn't take it well. Started insulting and attacking everyone and threw his own feces on the walls.
I don't think we'll play Monopoly with him again.

Sounds like he was a crappy player.

My doctor thanked me for submitting the minimum amount of feces for my stool sample
I told him it was the least I could doo

I found a piano stool...I thought they were housebroken!! <G>

Several years ago, when I was in the hospital with severe gastroenteritis (nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea, at the same time), after being in the ER,
they admitted me. They did an upper GI, giving me the equivalent of a very thick carbonated strawberry milk shake...and told me to drink it, but not pause. I swigged that thing like a whino (sp?)...and they said "This man
knows how to drink!!" <G>. Truthfully, it was the first thing they had let
me have in 2 days. I told them to have the stepstool next to the gurney,
in case I had to bid a hasty retreat to the toilet. Sure enough, not 15
minutes later, I had to fight the cat for the sandbox. <G> They said I
was lucky...and when I asked why, they said "Some people are down here
5 hours to get emptied out"...I just cringed.

The next day, they had me on NPO (nothing by mouth), as it looked like
I might need an appendectomy, from the ultrasound. This good looking
female nurse walked in, but had the gall to ask for a stool sample. I
asked "Where do you think I'm going to get it?? From the bedpan in the
next room?? You haven't fed me in 3 days!!". She sighed and lamented
"Well, you can't manufacture it if you ain't got it". So, they gave me
some lime jello to get what they wanted. I lost 10 pounds the hard way
that week.

One time, the doctor told me "You have to watch what you eat". I then
replied "I do...from the plate to the mouth". He growled "You know what
I mean!!". I hate medical staff without a sense of humor.

The substance you wash your hair with isnÆt made from real feces, itÆs fake. You could say itÆs sham poo.

Boycott shampoo...use real poo...for the real brown hair look. :P

A monkey was arrested today when he started throwing feces at zoo employees Three of the zoo employees were rushed to hospital with turd debris burns

They will literally do that when they get angry or feel threatened.

A man had some feces stuck on him.
They had to ampootate it.

He must've been out in the sun too long, after rolling around naked in
the cow pasture.

Q: What do you get when you eat too much chocolate and peanut butter?
A: ReeseÆs feces

Well, chocolate is brown, as well. But, the reason your stool color is
brown is because of the bile from your gall bladder.

Q: What's brown and rhymes with Snoop
A: Dr. Dre
[not racist -- just playing with observational POV]

You lost a character or two there.

Daryl

... Anyone know a chocolate reader for NESTLES.QWK??
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

Probaby who I'm referring to then. . . Amazinmg what the human voice can do. The late Freddy Mercury could cover 4 entire octaves & a

couple

notes on each side to boot!

That's like those pianists whose hands can reach more than an octave. Sergei Rachmaninoff had HUGE HANDS, but he was a virtuoso. My 2 favorites
of his are the Rhapsody On A Theme From Paganinni, and his Piano Concerto #2.

Some amazing talents out there in every category!

Could be both...code brown alert...OMG, that wasn't a fart!! :P

A lot of hospitals use those color codes (code red is less alarming than saying, on the PA "We have a fire")
Code Brown is the lower seniority nurses'; equivalent to "cleanup on aisle 5" *G*

Too many patients have caught on to the code red, so one hospital I was in
used "Paging Mister Red to the Cafeteria" meant a fire in the cafeteria. .

I caught on & casually asked a nurse, "Is that fire going to affect when we
get lunch?"; she made some calls & told me that it was a mound of paper deliberately lit on a back table - the kitchen was unaffected. Then she
asked whbo told me the code red meaning, as it had just been begun & all
nurses were sworn to secrecy. Eventually I convinced her of the truth -- I'm
a smart feller(fart smeller) & figured it out all by my little brain-damaged self!

I've always joked with medical staff, but never lied to them.

My Kindergartener's favorite joke:
"What's green and has four legs and would realy hurt you if it fell out of a tree?"
--A pool table

Q: Whats blue and smells like red paint?
A: Blue paint.

Guy goes into the doctor's office for an ear infection. The loud-first- sergeant-type nurse shuffles him to a cubicle and tells hime to take off ALL clothes and put on the stupid paper examination gown.

Sitting there freezing, he starts grousing out loud about having to sit there naked for a stupid ear infection when he hears a voice from over the top of
the wall "Hey--don't feel bad. I just came in here to fix the telephones."

Reminds me, true funny story, of when I was first paralyzed,in the hospital & my girlfriend was over visiting. I invited her to come in, & close the
curtain so we can make love. She argues, saying people in the ward will hear
us & the guy next door replies, "Go ahead, I won't listen!"; I used that as evbidence of why it was okay; she trhen asked, "Well, what if a nurse pokes gher heads in, what do we do?"; I said the nurse woulfd first ask, "What do
you think you two are DOING?" & while she's waiting for an answer, we'll have
t ime to finish!

Sadly, got nothing that day, or at all, while in the hospital *sniff*

Of course chances are that if your parents never had children, you won't either!

Never have children, only grandchildren.

Grandchildren(n): God's reward to you for not kiling your own

children

when they were teens.

And a second chance to get diaper duty right.

Q: Why do grandchildren & grandmothers get along so well?
A: They have a common enemy

I saw a meme where the little boy is sitting on a chair, facing the corner, and the caption noted "I'm going to take this all the way to Grandma". <G>

I've never really considered if those professionals helping me are

good

looking or not -- I'm most concerned with capable & competent!

That's true...but at least the ones I had weren't ugly.

Remember...beauty

is skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone. <G>

Hair is just bodily excretions, feces, really!

Makes you wonder about the bearded ladies at the circus. :P

My brother went to jail. He didn't take it well. Started insulting

and

attacking everyone and threw his own feces on the walls.
I don't think we'll play Monopoly with him again.

Sounds like he was a crappy player.

My doctor thanked me for submitting the minimum amount of feces for

my

stool sample
I told him it was the least I could doo

I found a piano stool...I thought they were housebroken!! <G>

Several years ago, when I was in the hospital with severe

gastroenteritis

(nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea, at the same time), after being in the ER, they admitted me. They did an upper GI, giving me the equivalent of a very thick carbonated strawberry milk shake...and told me to drink it, but not pause. I swigged that thing like a whino (sp?)...and they said "This man knows how to drink!!" <G>. Truthfully, it was the first thing they had let me have in 2 days. I told them to have the stepstool next to the gurney,
in case I had to bid a hasty retreat to the toilet. Sure enough, not 15 minutes later, I had to fight the cat for the sandbox. <G> They said I
was lucky...and when I asked why, they said "Some people are down here
5 hours to get emptied out"...I just cringed.

The next day, they had me on NPO (nothing by mouth), as it looked like
I might need an appendectomy, from the ultrasound. This good looking
female nurse walked in, but had the gall to ask for a stool sample. I
asked "Where do you think I'm going to get it?? From the bedpan in the
next room?? You haven't fed me in 3 days!!". She sighed and lamented
"Well, you can't manufacture it if you ain't got it". So, they gave me
some lime jello to get what they wanted. I lost 10 pounds the hard way
that week.

One time, the doctor told me "You have to watch what you eat". I then replied "I do...from the plate to the mouth". He growled "You know what
I mean!!". I hate medical staff without a sense of humor.

The substance you wash your hair with isnÆt made from real feces,

itÆs

fake. You could say itÆs sham poo.

Boycott shampoo...use real poo...for the real brown hair look. :P

A monkey was arrested today when he started throwing feces at zoo employees Three of the zoo employees were rushed to hospital with

turd

debris burns

They will literally do that when they get angry or feel threatened.

A man had some feces stuck on him.
They had to ampootate it.

He must've been out in the sun too long, after rolling around naked in
the cow pasture.

Q: What do you get when you eat too much chocolate and peanut butter? A: ReeseÆs feces

Well, chocolate is brown, as well. But, the reason your stool color is brown is because of the bile from your gall bladder.

Q: What's brown and rhymes with Snoop
A: Dr. Dre
[not racist -- just playing with observational POV]

You lost a character or two there.

Daryl

... Anyone know a chocolate reader for NESTLES.QWK??
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

A lot of hospitals use those color codes (code red is less alarming
than saying, on the PA "We have a fire")
Code Brown is the lower seniority nurses'; equivalent to "cleanup on
aisle 5" *G*

They had both in my hospital stay, and two code blues.

Too many patients have caught on to the code red, so one hospital I was
in used "Paging Mister Red to the Cafeteria" meant a fire in the cafeteria. .

There's a book "Why Do Men Have Nipples??", and it had the explanation
in it. I don't know what happened the copy I have...but I'm sure you can
find the list on the internet.

I caught on & casually asked a nurse, "Is that fire going to affect
when we get lunch?"; she made some calls & told me that it was a mound
of paper deliberately lit on a back table - the kitchen was unaffected.

Some folks just want to cause trouble.

Then she asked who told me the code red meaning, as it had just been begun & all nurses were sworn to secrecy. Eventually I convinced her
of the truth -- I'm a smart feller(fart smeller) & figured it out all
by my little brain-damaged self!

If you can smell the fart, you're too close for social distancing. :P

I've always joked with medical staff, but never lied to them.

I told 2 nurses the joke about where the husband brought his wife to
the hospital, as she was in labor. They got her in, and the doctor said
they had a new procedure to transfer all the pain from the expectant
mother to the father. Well, Mom was all for that, and since Dad had a
high pain tolerance, he was game for it.

Well, the doctor starts it slow, then ramps it up, bit by bit, until
it's maxed out. Mom has no pain, Dad has no pain, and she delivers a
nice healthy 8 pound boy. When they got home, the milkman was found
dead on the front porch. <G>

The 2 nurses just roared with laughter. :)

My Kindergartener's favorite joke:
"What's green and has four legs and would realy hurt you if it fell out
of a tree?"
--A pool table

Never mind 2 balls in the side pocket. :P

Q: Whats blue and smells like red paint?
A: Blue paint.

The worst thing in the screen print shop isn't the fumes...it's the fire hazard.

Guy goes into the doctor's office for an ear infection. The loud-first- sergeant-type nurse shuffles him to a cubicle and tells hime to take
off ALL clothes and put on the stupid paper examination gown.

Sitting there freezing, he starts grousing out loud about having to sit there naked for a stupid ear infection when he hears a voice from over
the top of the wall "Hey--don't feel bad. I just came in here to fix
the telephones."

Never mind, number please. :P

Sadly, got nothing that day, or at all, while in the hospital *sniff*

They are "blind" to the nudity.

Daryl

... Sex is a misdemeanor. Da more you miss, Da meaner you get.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

There's a book "Why Do Men Have Nipples??", and it had the explanation
in it. I don't know what happened the copy I have...but I'm sure you can find the list on the internet.

I've read excerpts, but not yet got hold of the book itself; it's on my todo list. . . :)

If you can smell the fart, you're too close for social distancing. :P

If you can even HEAR the fart, you're too close for the neurotically introverted.

My Kindergartener's favorite joke:
"What's green and has four legs and would realy hurt you if it fell

out

of a tree?"
--A pool table

Never mind 2 balls in the side pocket. :P

Guy takes his 16-year-old son to his doctor for his first ever physical. Son was perturbed when the doctor told him to get undressed, more so when the doctor grabnbed hold opf his little sensitives, down under. His dad said, "Don't worry, son, he's just checking to make sure all three are okay."

... Sex is a misdemeanor. Da more you miss, Da meaner you get.

API - Clearwater Florida - Lorena Bobbitt's sister Luella was arrested yesterday for an alleged attempt to perform the same act on her husband as
her famous sister had done several years ago. Sources reveal the sister was
not as accurate as Lorena. She allegedly missed the target and stabbed her husband in the upper thigh causing severe muscle and tendon damage. The
husband is reported to be in serious, but stable condition. Luella has been charged with one count of a misdewiener.

You're not into puns/twists of words; maybe you prefer math? It's hard to
twist things withg math:

Ask Abbott & Costello:
https://youtu.be/lzxVyO6cpos

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

I've read excerpts, but not yet got hold of the book itself; it's on my todo list. . . :)

I wonder if I can download a copy?? I'm not normally a reader, but this
was interesting.

If you can smell the fart, you're too close for social distancing. :P

If you can even HEAR the fart, you're too close for the neurotically introverted.

Just like Maxine ("I Love My Attitude Problem") who puts the fart sound
as her phone ringtone, and sets it off in the elevator. <G>

Guy takes his 16-year-old son to his doctor for his first ever
physical. Son was perturbed when the doctor told him to get undressed, more so when the doctor grabnbed hold opf his little sensitives, down under. His dad said, "Don't worry, son, he's just checking to make sure all three are okay."

Never mind "Turn your head, and cough". <G>

API - Clearwater Florida - Lorena Bobbitt's sister Luella was arrested yesterday for an alleged attempt to perform the same act on her husband
as her famous sister had done several years ago. Sources reveal the
sister was not as accurate as Lorena. She allegedly missed the target
and stabbed her husband in the upper thigh causing severe muscle and tendon damage. The husband is reported to be in serious, but stable condition. Luella has been charged with one count of a misdewiener.

LOL!!

You're not into puns/twists of words; maybe you prefer math? It's hard
to twist things withg math:

I loved their "two tens for a five", and "13 times 7 equals 28".

Daryl

... I went to college at Catatonic State.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

I've read excerpts, but not yet got hold of the book itself; it's on

my

todo list. . . :)

I wonder if I can download a copy?? I'm not normally a reader, but this was interesting.

I don't have a copy, but you can always check online -- or your local
library, for the ebook version?

Just like Maxine ("I Love My Attitude Problem") who puts the fart sound
as her phone ringtone, and sets it off in the elevator. <G>

Remember Jeff's ringtone, set by Walter, when it goes off in the elevator?

How much you want to bet Walter saw him go into the crowded elevator, then called him?

more so when the doctor grabnbed hold opf his little sensitives, down under. His dad said, "Don't worry, son, he's just checking to make

sure

all three are okay."

Never mind "Turn your head, and cough". <G>

Daddy, I only have two!
Well, son, I guess you'll know better than to cough when anyone's holding
your jewels; a young one like you; he'll get $250K easy for that one he took offen yas!

I loved their "two tens for a five", and "13 times 7 equals 28".

That was 28/13=7 that I gave you the link for!

I hadn't seem the change making one:
https://youtu.be/f7pMYHn-1yA

How much could he have made off of him, eh? If he'd kept going. . .

Find the missing dollar:

Three guests check into a hotel room. The manager says the bill is $30, so
each guest pays $10. Later the manager realizes the bill should only have
been $25. To rectify this, he gives the bellhop $5 as five one-dollar bills
to return to the guests.

On the way to the guests' room to refund the money, the bellhop realizes that he cannot equally divide the five one-dollar bills among the three guests. As the guests are not aware of the total of the revised bill, the bellhop
decides to just give each guest $1 back and keep $2 as a tip for himself, and proceeds to do so.

As each guest got $1 back, each guest only paid $9, bringing the total paid
to $27. The bellhop kept $2, which when added to the $27, comes to $29. So if the guests originally handed over $30, what happened to the remaining $1?

There seems to be a discrepancy, as there cannot be two answers ($29 and $30) to the math problem. On the one hand it is true that the $25 in the register, the $3 returned to the guests, and the $2 kept by the bellhop add up to $30, but on the other hand, the $27 paid by the guests and the $2 kept by the bellhop add up to only $29.

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)